There has been a few years since I have signed myself in to this site, and all I can say about this place here on the WorldWideWeb is that I feel really grateful for being here to show my artwork. At first I was not confident enough to show anything of my works, seeing that they were "just a few fan arts" at the time. But then I realized, there was so many great artists out here who brought up with just that; fan arts and fan fictions in great numbers
So of course I decided to continue to bring up just that.
The biggest issue for me at the time when I was new in DeviantArt, was my techniques... I was so focused on to just to make traditional drawings with soft pencils and sometimes color pencils., that it might had stopped me from developing as an artist.And as you might see, they weren't always up to it's par:
Some of them were made when I was having a hard time to work on them with focused mind. Others were just a lucky hit when it comes to the results:
Still even they weren't excatly as I had hoped... I tried so hard to follow the inspirations from dA that brought me the want for great results with just the pencils.
But then came the era of testing and tryouts. I was reluctant to figure out which form of techniques I wanna work with as the main trademark for myself as an artist. I tried ink, watercolor, oil pastels, soft pastels, acrylic painting, charcoal, Letraset pens, you name it. Still I fell back to the pencil.
Then there was my first time on Photoshop, when I still sometimes couldn't remember to use layers
But I tried really hard to work on it. This is probably the first "success" I made:
Otherwise there was this:
This is an perfect example on how little I knew about the use of Photoshop. Sigh...
After a while I couldn't focus on digital work, so I decided to go back to practicing with traditional means of pictures. Later on, learn how to spread my artworks more efficient on this site, after a long break from it. Groups. Why didn't I think of them before?, I thought. So I decided to add myself on various of groups that could wake up my fandoms and other forms of groups that could bring up inspirations regarding certain medium, such as graphite.
I have let myself get envious towards many wunderkinds whom shown their great works both fan art and original creativity so many times that I could not let myself go as a practicing hobbyist. But it did sometimes let me get too stressed over them, so I decided to change my mind to rather learn from them. There is no point of letting myself go inwards the dark thoughts that says that I cannot do good with my pencils. There are so many artist out here who had to go through many days of their lives to master their awesomeness with their artistic flow. I am now trying to aim for the same thing.
And that could not be done if it wasn't for all of you who commented, faved, or watched me throughout the whole time I have been here on the internet.
Now I use many forms in techniques and really rather focusing in my own expressions and creativity, instead of finding my ultimate ways of usage of different tools. And I go for both digital and traditional.
But I cannot help myself from wonder: do they matter to people? Do they convey inspiration? Have I finally found my expressions/trademark? If so, how can I marked myself so that both my comic strips and drawings would get me to where I wanna be? To become a comic artist, freelance or graphic designer or character concept artist? Or perhaps all of them?
What should I do first? Making random posters for a possible graphic designer job? Making random characters for concept artist's living? I do not know...
But I do know one thing: I do NOT wanna quit my right hand from working on a empty canvas or paper... And I will try my best to fill in my portfolio for possible job, with or without commissions.
Peace from Zabani